This is not your usual top ten list. As we come to the end of one calendar year, I wanted to put together the highlights of the Becoming a Soulful Parent approach for you to carry with you into the new year. Take a look at the list below and pick one or two that feel most resonant for you now. Bonus points: Think about a small action step you want to take to put the idea here into action.
For example, for the first one – if you want to remember to amplify your soul voice and help your child amplify theirs, consider creating space at home just to hang out with one of your kids and listen to the story beneath the story they are telling you. “I hate math” might really mean “Studying is hard for me, I need your help.” When we amplify our soul voices, the possibility for connection grows and confrontation can diminish.
Top 10 Soulful Parenting Reminders
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We all have soul voices and ego voices. Amplify your soul voice and help your child amplify theirs.
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“Attention is the rarest form of generosity” says Simon Weil. Try and give your full attention to your partner or child at least once each day.
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Shadow and light are a part of everything as it says in Genesis, “There was darkness and there was light, one day.” Hold both in balance. When things feel dark, keep faith that light will come.
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Bless the difference in the parenting style of your partner. Getting curious about why they parent the way they do can bring you closer to each other and may help you understand that your Truth is not the only one.
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As parents, we are the bridge between our parents who carry with them so much history, and our children, who carry with them the potential to touch eternity. Keep that bridge open and well travelled.
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Unplug for one day a week and remind your kids that boredom is the fertile ground on which creativity grows.
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You are meant to be the parent for your child. Even on the days when you think someone else could do a better job.
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You have a soul that is unique and has its particular tikkun (or repair) to make in the world. Your child does too. When there is conflict between you both, keep that perspective in mind.
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In the spirit of Ayeka, when you feel stuck, ask yourself a generous and generative question that starts with Where am I? And then exhale deeply.
And finally:
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“Every now and its work.” In other words, each moment invites us to respond in a specific way. When you are in a tough spot with one of your kids, instead of blaming, or launching into a character assassination “He/she is always like this!” consider what work you need to do in that moment. Maybe it is to take a breath. Maybe it is to intervene calmly. Maybe it is to do nothing. Thinking about the work that is needed in each moment is like “Presence 2.0.”
As we ring in 2022, the passage of time brings with it the awareness that we are mortal and that our time on earth is not limitless. That awareness can bring with it great opportunities for growth. I hope this list can help you in the process.
Blessings for the Journey,
Dasee
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