I think of myself as a pretty self-aware person. I think ahead about my motivations for doing things (are they the right ones?), and at the end of the day, I try to take stock of what I did well and where I fell short. Recently, I was taken aback when a close colleague shared with me how hurt she felt when I left her out of a gathering to which she had expected to be invited. She felt hurt and confused by my action. (I was happy she shared how she felt, even tho’ it was hard to hear at the time.)
It led me to see the disconnect between how I think I am showing up, and how others may experience me. Sure, I may think of myself as compassionate, inclusive, and one who opens opportunities for others. However, when colleagues or friends have a different experience, unless I invite in their perspective, I may be living in a silo of my own making.
Tasha Eurich, in her book, Insight: The Surprising Truth About How Others See Us, How We See Ourselves, and Why the Answers Matter More Than We Think reminds us that knowing ourselves is only half the picture of becoming self-aware. The other half is having a clear idea of how others experience us. And while for some of us, receiving feedback related to how we impact others may feel intimidating and vulnerable, when we do we will have more open, honest, and productive relationships that are grounded in reality and will improve how we live and work.
To help us grow in self-awareness, I am delighted to offer a workshop Wednesday, October 19th on “How do you come across? The Ins and Outs of Self-Awareness” in which we will explore how to expand our level of self- awareness through concrete tools and practices. It will be a reflective and open conversation, join us!
During this holiday of Sukkot, which invites us to think about permanence and impermanence, let’s remember that what lasts is a commitment to cultivate authentic relationships that help us move forward in our lives more fully.
Looking forward to seeing you on October 19th!
Warm wishes for a wonderful Sukkot!